Melancholia
by Scintilla-Ish
Summary: In which a certified criminal who takes Naruto's place died a lonely, gruesome death and Naruto's fox senses are cranked up to eleven. / / si-oc!naruto. fem!naruto.
1. Prologue

The Kyūbi Jinchūriki had always been rather...melancholic, to say the least.

Perhaps the more accurate word would be really fucking weird, but gloomy or melancholic or mirthless would be the first things to come to mind when you're face to face with the girl.

She was cute, for a monster. Sunshine blonde hair that curled around the nape of her neck, blue eyes that made you think of oceans and skies, and symmetrical scars on her cheeks that made people think of whiskers.

With her summer palette, you would think her personality would be the same.

That couldn't be more far from the truth.

* * *

It's only been three days after the events of the Kyūbi Attack, and everything is going to be absolutely fine. That was what the Hokage wanted to believe. What the Third, wanted to believe. Of course, he had no doubts that with time Konoha would be able to recover, their foundations were strong.

But it was difficult to hold onto faith when everything had gone downhill swiftly after their Fourth Hokage and Jinchūriki gave themselves up to the Shinigami and leaving only their newborn daughter, who now had the Kyūbi sealed within her.

Everything within the immediate area of the attack was absolutely destroyed. Multiple buildings with history imbued in their very soil, gone. The more he lingered on that thought, Hiruzen wanted to weep a bit.

And people were starting to speculate on who the perpetrators were. Who could've missed the Sharingan visible for all to see in the Kyūbi's eyes? He tried his best tp have that tidbit contained, but it was obvious that it'd been dashed by the fact that not one Uchiha had been present during the attack. Not one, even though their district had been one of the most affected by the bijū's rampage. They'd been helping civilians from the outer sectors evacuate, and Fugaku reported that apparently that had been an order given to him and his department.

To start with salvaging the situation, he would have to contain the information that Minato and Kushina's daughter was the new Jinchūriki. He just hoped that not a lot of citizens had been paying attention when they sealed the demon into her.

* * *

A month after the Kyūbi Attack, it quickly became obvious that the hospital staff that knew of the newborn's existence knew.

She was the new Jinchūriki. She was the one with the Kyūbi sealed inside her.

It complicated some things. He's already had to stop one attempt on her life and quietly sweep it under the rug with the help of the Hokage.

She's been separated from the other patients by putting her into a sector that was only used for contagious diseases. Thankfully, there were no patients there, because otherwise he didn't think the Hokage would've put her in such close contact with them when she was only a baby.

He felt kinda bad for the kid. Putting her there meant the unintended side effect of treating her like a disease although he knew it was for her own safety.

He watched silently as the nurse most amiable to the Jinchūriki, a friend to the previous Jinchūriki that knew of her status, fed the three month old.

He'd heard that the Uchiha Matriarch had pushed for guardianship of her goddaughter but she ws denied. The Uchiha were too suspicious. It hadn't been said in that room but it may as well have been.

The Matriarch back then looked like she was about to knock out a few teeth right then and there. He understood the feeling, he felt it too since they were basically denying a kid the right to have a family just because of politics.

Politics. Ew.

But he could understand denying her guardianship too. He sure as hell hadn't missed the giant Sharingan in the bijū's eyeball. He doubted any of Konoha's loyal Uchiha had actually taken control of the Kyūbi and ordered it to level part of the village, and in the process destroyed their own district, but—

Just to be safe.

To keep the village safe. To keep the Fourth's daughter safe.


	2. Chapter 1

_*i've always wanted to write an oc-insert with naruto _  
_**i've also always wanted to write a fem naruto too so here we are!_  
_***__this story can get messy because it is very very self-indulgent and i'm a little more focused on my salad's elder sister fic._

_*in which naruto's fox senses are cranked up to 11 and OC died a lonelier, more gruesome death in her old life._  
_**no beta we die like men_

* * *

She could tell a few of her ANBU guards thought she was clever but creepy for her age. She couldn't blame them for thinking so, but she thought it was rather unfair to blame her attitude on her or a certain thing no one's allowed to talk about.

It wasn't easy, seeing, hearing, _knowing_ things.

Like how the couple she could hear down the street looked to be on the verge of divorce because the man was into cuckoldry but the woman refused to be perceived as the slightest bit of unfaithful to her husband.

(That was a really weird situation to experience from an outside view, honestly.)

Like how some of her ANBU were absolutely inept at taking care of kids but wanted to take care of her, because they presumably were close to her parents or relatives.

Or like how the villagers she's seen so far seemed to be wary, and at worst, downright hated her because of the demon sealed in her gut. No one knew she knew, obviously, but she thought it was stupid that they thought she wouldn't notice. Especially with the large seal that became visible whenever she got irritated enough, covering her abdomen.

She often wondered how long it would be until someone finally managed to kill her.

It would be better than being treated like a ticking time bomb and a disease.

She continued picking on a loose thread in her long shirt that covered her like a dress. She was four years old now, and she was a bit thin, but nothing too noticeable. She was fed properly by her guards, so her thinness could be attributed to her fitful rests and how she always stayed up late staring out the window.

It was also because she thought the fact that she heard someone had tried placing her in an orphanage was mildly hilarious and concerning.

It was only a little concerning, but she thought it was weird and more than a little suspicious.

She already had her own apartment and babysitters, why try to put her in an orphanage with no doubt overworked caretakers and brats that would be more high maintenance than her?

(There was a big part of her that was still an adult with enough experience thinking like the corrupt government in her old, previous life.

That part was talking and she was inclined to listen.)

But her train of thought was cut off when she felt herself getting picked up, and she looked up at the bird-masked figure that started to cradle her in his arms. She thought it was rather sweet that they tried their best to distract her whenever she thought too much, because they _understood. _They knew she was smart. They knew that she wasn't just a child.

They understood that just because she was a child didn't mean she didn't have her own morbid thoughts that plagued her mind.

At first it quickly became annoying, because she needed to compartmentalize properly and she could never focus if someone else was in the room with her, but the first and last time she snapped at one of her guards because they were making a nuisance of themselves by poking at her; she got the feeling that they felt absolutely stricken and hurt when she did.

She immediately felt like a total asshole and apologized. They piled her with candy and hid half of it in one of the cupboards so she could indulge every now and then if she wanted. That was as much of a forgiveness she would get with her often silent caretakers, and she took to letting them distract her whenever her thoughts veered towards brooding.

She still felt like an asshole sometimes, but she often looked back on that moment and felt more than a little grateful because she'd been thinking about how she died before, and it was a depressing topic to work with.

The ANBU that'd been carrying her plopped her down on the kitchen counter and started rifling through the cabinets and fridge for, presumably, ingredients to cook. She blinked when he took out some specific sort of flour and eggs and other things she forgot the names of, but she could tell that those were ingredients for well-known desserts, like cake.

More importantly, she hadn't known this particular guard of hers could even bake, considering he never went near the kitchen in the first place except to get her some candy.

But much more importantly, he's going to _bake a_ _thing._

She hoped he made cake. She needed cake. Cake, her old friend that she used to devour daily in order to get her brain alive and kicking. One of her favorite comfort food.

And her _brother's_ most favorite—

She startled when something was placed in front of her with a firm clink, almost jumping off the counter if not for the steadying hand that caught her and adjusted her position so that she wouldn't be so near the edge. She shook her head roughly and blinked rapidly through the double vision that gave her, before finally giving the wide bowl and her ANBU a questioning look.

It felt like he was smiling as he put a strainer above the bowl and reached for the flour.

Oh. Oh! She remembered this part! You just have to pour the flour into the strainer so that it won't have any lumps, right!?

She eagerly reached for the flour as he opened the box, getting a pinch on the nose as reprimand when she jostled it a little too much and caused some to fly out in a small cloud. She sneezed at the dusty texture that now covered her guard's glove-clad hand. She had no doubt she had cake flour covering her nose now too, but she felt like she visibly lit up when she heard a muffled snort come from the man.

To be honest, she's only had her guards for four years, but if anything were to happen to them she would kill everyone in this village and then herself.

She continued to watch the ANBU work diligently, not that keen on sneezing via flour dust anytime soon, getting the feeling that he was amused by her focus as he started to whisk the mixture together. He didn't pause even as she felt more than heard the one of her other guards arrive. It was the woman this time, the one who often gave her sharp things and told her to skewer someone the next time they threw a tomato at her. The one with the mask that looked like a cat-tiger.

She would take this secret to the grave, but she was one of her most favorites. Their ideals were very similar.

Of course, some of the others bopped her on the head and delivered a much harsher upside slap on the woman's whenever she went on one of her tirades on 'Why stabbing is the best solution for everything' and 'How to safely tear an asshole a new one', but she quietly tucked the female ANBU's words into her heart. She could talk about how children are supposed to be treated because they're so _impressionable _until she was blue in the face, but she was willing to let this one slide.

She always appreciated their efforts to keep her safe, especially since she was still a kid and they couldn't always be there for her. And also because she completely agreed with whatever the woman talked about. Their thoughts were so similar!

She turned to look at her ANBU Cat-Tiger that just arrived, and immediately noticed the brown paper bag carried by her.

The last time she bought something ad brought it here, it had been confiscated by the others and she'd been told that it was something only adults were allowed to see. Which made her curious as to what exactly it was, because there were only so much objects that weren't for toddler eyes.

Now, she was interested in what her guard bought this time, wondering if it was possible to take a peek at it without any of the others noticing that her eyes had been 'dirtied'.

That quickly went out the window the moment she noticed that the bird-masked ANBU that just set down the bowl and finally turned around to look at his co-worker stiffened, he's seen the bag and he wasn't risking any chances of her 'innocence' getting ruined. He probably wasn't risking any awkward questions either.

ANBU Cat-Tiger held up a hand to placate him, and it felt like she was grinning under her mask. He, however, felt like he was starting to glare suspiciously at whatever she bought.

She couldn't help but butt in and ask, "What's in the bag?"

The woman felt like she was grinning wider, and from how ANBU Tori? Dove? shuffled closer to the only child in the room, he probably felt it too.

"Equipment." Cat-Tiger says, and though it was with the same bland and blunt tone that all of her guards seemed to be required to use, she hears a note of glee in it. Equipment for what?

As if her guard heard her thoughts, she sets it down heavily on the other side of the counter, ignoring the now very obvious threatening glare coming from her colleague. She methodically takes out several, very sharp, glinting-in-the-light objects. The woman puts it a bit farther away from her of course, she probably doesn't want the child cutting herself on them.

"For when you're a shinobi." The female ANBU elaborates, and she tilts her head in response, feeling her short blonde hair swish to the side.

"Shinobi?"

"Our military. We're called shinobi. We're the village's main source of income. We do cool things like behead and torture people, but that's mainly in T&I. We infiltrate other countries and breathe fire." ANBU Cat-Tiger nods firmly with her explanation, at least until she almost gets her mask ruined by one of the weapons on the counter, thrown by ANBU Tori-Dove.

"That's only what us ANBU do." He tells her with a exasperated sigh in his flat voice, before patting her on the head. "If you don't want to be a shinobi, that's okay."

"No, I definitely want to be a shinobi." She shoots down immediately, leaning into his head pats all the while.

Cat-Tiger gives her co-worker the middle finger as she passes by to try and have a taste of the cake mix, and the child in the room politely looks away at the chaos that ensues when Tori-Dove takes notice of her gesture and attempts to take her head off for being a bad role model.

* * *

Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. That's her name.

It's surprising she didn't find out sooner, since she's four now and she would've thought that someone had mentioned it to her some time but either she hadn't been paying attention or she forgot because she still referred to herself in the same name she did in her old life, at least in her head.

But no, apparently. No one had thought to tell her her name during the four years she's breathed. And she only found out because one of her ANBU guards said it in a lecture to one of the less conservative of the group.

"—she's too fucking young for that shit, idiot. Do you want Naruto to grow up depraved like you assholes?"

"Who's Naruto?" She asks.

(She also thought that ANBU Bear was being a little hypocritical considering he was the one who swore the most out of all of them combined.)

What followed next was a rather awkward silence along with the realization that they never sat her down and told her her name, or even called her by it when she was around. It was always 'brat', 'kiddo', 'child' and whatever other synonyms they could use as a nickname like 'egg spawn who I definitely will never love'.

(The one who called her that, ANBU Deer, got tackled by a couple of her other caretakers who wanted to defend their ward.

And he definitely lied, by the end of the week he was playing shogi with her.)

She couldn't believe she was named after a fishcake, but according to one guard, it also meant maelstrom. Which summed up her very being, so she liked it enough.

It was exactly like the anime protagonist too.

"Fuck."

* * *

After getting scolded by one of her ANBU, getting a larger-than-normal candy bar from apologizing profusely, she sat down and proceeded to have an existential crisis.

How come she didn't realize sooner? She has a fucking bijū in her gut, a very complex distinct seal on her stomach, multiple ANBU guards who took care of her and _blonde hair and blue eyes and whisker marks—_

She took a deep breath. And let out a painful, muffled squeal into her pillow.

When she was done, she rolled over and stared at the ceiling. Thinking. She could do a lot, she's a lot smarter, she has a lot of experience dealing with unexpected developments, she told herself. It was a given, considering her occupation back then.

It's not like dying is an option anymore. She was doomed from the moment she started caring for her ANBU.

As she continued to rationalize with herself, she felt the sudden crushing weight of the world and her realization lighten.

Another realization hits her right then and there.

She blinks, turns the thought over in her head and nods to herself.

She doesn't actually give a shit about what happens to the world. The ones who could even hope to sway her in that are her ANBU guards, and the events are far into the future.

With that, she rolls over again to sleep the abrupt stress off and have that thought cement itself into her heart.

* * *

A week after her small existential crisis, she turns her head to watch the window because she feels that there's someone there.

It's with a pause and some minor unease that she realizes that she sees absolutely nothing outside the window except for the normal view. Dirt streets, other houses and apartment complexes and the tree she frequently uses as practice to get used to scaling down tall heights again.

She could never explain how her sensing thing works, but she's long since realized that it involved chakra and the fact that she could hear _heartbeats. _She theorizes that her heightened senses has something to do with the nine-tailed fox in her gut, and she never minded it nor did she pay enough attention to the method, but it's never been wrong before so far.

There's definitely someone there. And they don't feel familiar either, so not even one of her ANBU guards.

She keeps her face bored and absent, still cradled in her small hand and a pencil in the other, a sketchbook ANBU Tiger-not-Cat bought for her after some convincing from the others open in front of her. She's already a quarter through it, and she feels her guards turn happy and proud whenever they flip through it when they think she doesn't notice.

It definitely boosts her confidence.

She looks away from the window and taps the other end of her pencil on the table steadily, then continues her sketching, giving half of her attention to the presence outside. She shuffles closer and bends her head over the paper, making sure she squints a little and that what she's writing isn't visible from the window.

She doesn't want some stalker looking at her through the window like a pervert, thanks.

She hops off the chair and makes her way to ANBU Tori who's found a hobby in baking. Her guard pauses in his cookie cutting and wipes his hands off for a moment before plucking the raised sketchbook out of her hands gently. She smiles up at him when he ruffles her hair and he feels all proud, before he notices the note she left in the rightmost part of the drawing.

'SOMEONE I DONT KNOW OUT THE WINDOW'

She hasn't quite gotten a grasp on the characters, it's been a long while since she's had to write in kanji, but she remembers enough with the help of her ANBU guards who always take the time to teach her something every day.

She feels how ANBU Tori switches from the warm, proud and protective caretaker and into the cold, sharpened and equally as protective assassin. He discreetly flares his chakra once, twice, before he stalks off to deal with the intruder. Not before he signals for her to stay in the kitchen though, so she stays with her eyes trained in the direction of Tori and the stranger until she feels ANBU Bear and ANBU Tiger drop into the room using the kitchen window.

Distantly, she realizes that what she's feeling is anxiousness, but she doesn't show anything for it except for her continued staring and the small twitches her hand suddenly gets. She kind of wants to slug whoever thought it'd be a good idea to threaten her and her ANBU across the face.

Tiger picks her up and swipes Tori's cooking supplies away to make space for her to sit on as Bear goes on ahead to join the only one not present. "Brat," Tiger starts. "Don't you start crying. Gen— Tori is an absolute _beast, _okay?" ANBU Tiger knows ANBU Tori personally. She almost said his name.

"I would know." Here, it feels like she winks, and she can't help the short quiet laughter that comes out of her throat.

It comes out a little hysterical, but that's okay. Progress.

The female ANBU ruffles her hair and positions herself so that she can keep an eye on her and everything else in the room. Whoever tries to lay a hand on her will find themselves missing that hand and more.

Suddenly, there's a yell that sounds like it came from Bear, and they both tense and twitch.

"What the shit do you think you're _doing?!"_

She feels a little confused. Rather than enraged and in pain like she expected, it feels like Bear is a little amused and exasperated and more than a little annoyed at whoever the stalker is. Someone they know then? Tori hasn't moved one bit from how close he is to the stranger. She thought he was engaged in combat, but come to think of it, it felt like he was just still.

"Moved on to stalking little girls, Hatake? Really? Do you have any idea how fucking creepy that is?"

Definitely someone they know then, she decides, feeling ANBU Tiger relax completely when she hears the name. Bear's voice is really loud right now, the kind of voice you'd use with someone you're familiar with, so they both easily hear his words. Who's Hatake? She faces the woman with the intention of asking the question, but the other female is one step ahead of her and picks her up instead.

"Let's go meet the bastard." She hears her say.

* * *

_—and__ cut! i am uncomfortably aware of the fact that this is somewhat the same oc who became salad's elder sister, just that she died a 'lonelier, more gruesome death'. what could be more gruesome than dying because of an explosion going off too soon? many things my dude, many things._

_i'm rather surprised that this is, so far, longer than my progress in chapters for the other one ahahah_

_i'm pROCRASTINATING by writing something else. i have the strangest feeling that this is actually prettier than the other one actually. which is making me jealous because i have a larger idea of what to do with that one than this one._

_how dare my english skills be selective of when to go full power honestly._

**_Read & Review!_**


	3. Chapter 2

Ah, so this is the bastard that made a creep out of himself.

That's the first thing that goes through her head when she comes face to face with 'Hatake'. The second was that 'he looks young even though he has silver hair'.

The third thing she thinks is how odd it is that he's staring at her like he's seeing ghosts of the past. He definitely knew her parents, then. They're dead, so of course it'd be like meeting ghosts.

Oh, wait.

Kushina and Minato, her parents. Minato had a silver-haired student, Kakashi who's last name is Hatake. Hatake Kakashi who receives a Sharingan from Uchiha Obito, gains reputation and a title calling him Sharingan no Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi who goes on to eventually teach a team of his own, comprised of Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke—

And Uzumaki Naruto.

This creep is going to teach her or some poor sod someday and all she can remember him teaching his team in canon is how to get bells from him and how to climb trees with no hands. It's not always going to be set in stone, of course, but she'd rather not have him as her teacher. Nor anyone else outside of her ANBU guards as her teacher, actually. She won't accept anyone else.

She furrows her eyebrows at him and gives her best distrustful gaze. It feels like his chakra jerks at her expression, but his face betrays nothing except for his single visible eye closing into a crescent shape like he's smiling.

"Yo," He waves at her, and it feels like her ANBU guards are simultaneously laughing and sighing at the same time. "Sorry about the fuss, I was looking for a cat, you see. I thought it went up that tree, but then it felt too comfortable so I went to rest in it."

She blinks and gives him a blank stare, before she opens her mouth to reply, "Are you sure you weren't the cat?" Bluntly.

Then immediately after she feels embarrassed by her rudeness and lack of manners and she shakes her head, grinning sheepishly at the young man before her.

Then opens her mouth slightly in surprise when he disappears using the same technique her ANBU use.

_Rude. _She thinks with some indignation.

Well, it's not like she was that eager to meet him in the first place, so she doesn't feel a lick of disappointment.

He leaves ANBU Bear and ANBU Tiger irritated though, so she hopes that he apologizes to them soon.

* * *

_She's just turned four when she's finally let out for the first time._

_Her ANBU tell her that they won't be able to stay in public with her, but that they'll be looking after her while she goes out and explores. She doesn't mind. She can easily sense them and she knows they keep their word._

_She gets a sudden twisting feeling in her gut whenever she moves to go to more crowded areas, so she makes sure to stay away. She feels like she really, really shouldn't go anywhere near people right now._

_She takes note of her surroundings when she first hops out of the building __gate.__ She's__ known from the start that the place she'd been living in an apartment building, and considering how some of her ANBU seemed to arrive faster than the other whenever it was time for their respective shifts, she thinks that some of them live in the other apartments near hers._

_She's surrounded by buildings filled with apartments and a few houses that are predominantly occupied by shinobi. And she thinks about how that must be a precaution they took since she was a jinchūriki, and how a bijū could break free from her at any time if she was pushed enough._

_It's not like they have much to worry about. She muses. It's not like I'm just going to rip the seal off anytime soon._

_She shakes her head and continues on to walk around then away from the district. She stays away from crowded areas and people, but she can admit she had fun. Some of the ANBU tailing her bought her snacks whenever she sat down to rest, although she noticed she barely felt tired._

_It was a little funny that she would sit down and suddenly there was taiyaki beside her, accompanied by a rush of air and leaves. She made sure to beam as bright as she could when she bit into any snack they brought._

_She's completely devastated when she finds out that animals don't like her that much in this life. The first time she approaches a stray cat in the same manner she used to do back then, she ends up getting scratched. The fourth time she approaches one, still hurt from each rejection, she almost cries because it runs away._

_One of her ANBU gets her a cat-shaped doughnut and she makes sure to bite into it viciously even as she sulks and tears up._

_Her adventures continue in the same manner for her second up to her tenth time._

_Then she makes a mistake when instead of avoiding the populated areas, she actively looks for one. What could she say? Curiosity killed the cat._

_She doesn't charge right into a throng of people, but she lingers by sitting on a swing in a park with children. She entertains herself by watching them shove and play with each other, until something hits her head with a splat._

_Oh. She thinks as she reaches to the back of her head. She's never had a tomato thrown at her before._

_Her hand comes away with the remains of the fruit, and for a few seconds all is silent. She doesn't want to turn around. She doesn't feel like that would be a good idea. She really, really doesn't want to turn around—_

_"You demon! Why are you here?! Planning on killing our children too, you monster?!"_

Hey, I resent that. _She responds weakly. She moves her head to peer at the person speaking, making sure her hair covers her expression. It's a woman, grocery bags dropped on the ground and she has a child with her._

_She purses her lips. She doesn't approve of what she's showing to her child by acting so disdainful towards another his age. She swallows down any scathing remarks, anything she could say to show how much she disliked her behavior, and keeps her head down. She keeps the woman in her sight._

_"Just— die! Leave us alone!" The woman yells, and the murmur around them grows in volume. Agreement._

_She feels herself grow angry, furious. They don't care that they're calling for the death of a _child_, no matter how much she keeps of the adult she used to be, she's still physically a _child.

_This is piss-poor behavior. She thinks irately._

_Another fruit hits her, and her ANBU whisks her away from the scene as she starts to tremble from how _angry _she is._

_They better sleep with one eye open for the next few years, she decides darkly__._

* * *

She's still four when the Hokage visits.

It's not the first time he's visited, he comes and goes every year with a gift for her birthday, but alongside the present, he approaches her with an inquiry this year.

"Would you like to get enrolled at the Academy?"

How am I supposed to answer that question? She thinks. On one hand, education. On the other hand, she won't have her ANBU guards with her and it will surely be filled by children influenced by their parents who absolutely hate her, and noise pollution. And just, pollution. That would be a lot of feelings and emotions to unwillingly keep track of too, sir.

The both of them were playing a game of shogi when he springs the question on her, something that's similar to chess and a balm for her homesickness. She hadn't meant to gain an interest in it, just that she's played multiple times with one of her guards, ANBU Deer, and ended up staring for almost half an hour outside a shop that had a shogi board displayed against the window— thinking about how Deer seemed like a Nara.

Leaving that piece of thought to be expanded upon for another day, the next day a very similar board had been wrapped badly and placed in the living room table when she woke up.

She stares at Hiruzen-jiji for a bit before directing her stare to the board, to the ceiling, to the window, the floor, then back to him.

His lips are twitching in the same way hers does whenever she sees something amusing but wants to be polite about it. She gives him a blank stare because she _knows,_ and the old man smiles gently at her in return. Probably giggling at her in his head and using that same smile as a small outlet for his childishness.

She doesn't point at him and accuse him of doing so like she thinks the protagonist would've done, but she also thinks that she was a little too close to doing it.

Ah, right, she hasn't given him an answer yet.

She thinks about it some more as the Kage before her waits patiently, before she shrugs at him.

"I don't mind."

And that was that. She was set to attend the Academy in a few weeks.

* * *

She thinks it's a very good thing that her chronic lateness hadn't followed her into this life.

Or maybe it's decided to leave her alone for the time being and is just waiting for the right (or wrong, depending on the situation) time to strike, who knows.

Either way, she considers it a blessing she wasn't late to the Hokage's speech for the newest batch of students. She decides to hang back where no one can see her unless they were looking for her though, in a tree where she can both still see and somewhat hear the old leader tell his speech.

With the children's and some adult's expressions, he must've been saying something inspiring as all great leaders usually did. She never listened to all that motivating jargon, but she guessed that as a token of friendship, she could at least listen and try her best not to make snide remarks inside her head.

"—May the Will of Fire burn brightly within you."

Oh. She tuned back in too late.

Against her better judgement, a smile started growing on her face as a mixture of surprise and relief filled her. She immediately covered that smile, small as it was, with a faux-dainty hand. That wasn't appropriate behavior, she berated herself laughingly, even if speeches are pretty lame.

She coughed quietly to clear her mind, and watched the children rush to fix their lines in order to enter the Academy doors. She turned her gaze back towards the old Hokage and bowed her head sheepishly as a greeting when their eyes met almost immediately. She saw Hiruzen smile underneath his hat and discreetly nod back.

She prepared herself to jump down from the tree just as she noticed a head of soot black hair that protruded like a duck's tail. Almost losing her footing, she catches herself using the heel of her sandal on an indent in the very, very tall tree she was just about to fall headfirst from.

She forces her racing heart to calm down as she adjusts herself so that she _won't _fall like a baby bird from a nest. Speaking of birds— she searches for the boy with the duck butt hair again.

She's...pretty sure she just saw the rival character in the series.

She furrowed her eyebrows when she saw no sign of the boy. He probably went inside already considering the flow of children rushing into the entrance.

Wasn't he supposed to enter when he's a little older though? He'd be around her age at this time, and she'd heard that the entrance exam was usually reserved for six year olds. Usually. The only exception was when a particularly talented brat was born.

She wasn't trying to toot her own horn, but she'd say that she was rather talented for her age in the eyes of others. And in the original series, the protagonist had been presumably admitted early anyway, since he'd previously failed the graduation exam three times before getting a promotion to genin after beating up a traitor.

Hm. Did she somehow manage to change something without even doing anything?

Oh well.

She jumped down from her perch as quietly as she could falling from that height, and jogged towards the disappearing backs of the newest batch of students. She kept to the sides as she slid into the throng of excited energy, doing her best to keep a straight face and quiet countenance even as she felt like grimacing from the amount of activity she could feel bustling around her.

When they finally arrived to their designated classroom, she rushed to the farthest corner of the room. It was an elevating classroom reminiscent of lectures she'd attended as a student, and since the farthest corner was on the highest level, it made things easier for her to see and observe.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice her in her haste. She was the smallest of the bunch so she supposed that she could attribute some of it to that.

She turns her eyes to the front of the class, to the door, to where the teacher is supposed to be coming in.

When she doesn't feel the muffled presence by the door move any closer, she decides it's not her problem anymore if they're getting second thoughts and nervous about helping children become government sanctioned killers and assassins. She focuses on her classmates instead.

Apparently a lot of them are little shits and pain in the asses.

It's only been what? Ten, fifteen minutes? And there are already four of them looking like they want to tear out each other's throats.

Judging by looks alone, two of them are Hyūgas, facing off with a pair of Uchihas. Who thought it would be a good idea to place two each of the rival clans so close to each other? She almost genuinely wishes that the Senju never died out...or whatever happened to them since she never saw another of them in the series outside of Tsunade and the confirmed deceased ones.

She grumbles under her breath as she peers at the square-off beneath her hair, noticing in the corner of her eye a Nara looking exactly what she feels like— done with the world. She feels every single one of them and half of them are practically vibrating with anticipation because of the little argument the four of them are having and the other half are feeling concerned or disinterested.

It's starting to make her want to get rid of them.

Get rid of the amount of things she can feel, she means. She'd never lay a single finger on a child. Compared to her, these brats are all children. No. She'd never even contemplate the very thought, it's horrifying.

Why is she having an internal monologue?

"Stop." She hears, and she's surprised to realize it's coming from a child that's only a little taller than her and looking like her age.

She's shocked to register how it looks like he's the rival character of the series.

"You two," he says, looking at the Uchiha pair tensing up under his irritated stare, "Are acting disgraceful. Stop this meaningless argument and stand_ down."_

She twitches and almost gapes at how they shuffle before deferring to his order. What? Is, is this how it goes? Does every Uchiha kid lower their head when faced with the might that is a Clan Head's son?

She curiously glances at the Nara, blinking before turning her gaze towards the not-yet-confirmed-Sasuke when she finds an interested spark in his brown eyes.

This was real then.

She finds the Uchiha-Sasuke-look-alike giving a similarly annoyed reprimand to the Hyūgas and curiously enough, they both grimace, give each other looks, before nodding stiffly as they sit back down in their seats. She starts to study the Uchiha remaining standing. She never really thought about how Sasuke could've acted before the Massacre, just assumed he was like every other kid, just more isolated because of his heritage.

The only times she could remember of him as a child were during those Itachi-Sasuke-bittersweet moments and those Academy spars with him and Naruto, and even then she could barely remember if the spars were before or after the massacre.

Hm.

Adding the fact that she was pretty sure that him attending the academy at the same age as her didn't happen originally, and how the two Hyūgas listened to him with some begrudging respect despite not needing to considering how even if he was a Clan Head's son, it didn't look like he held the same power as Itachi did at that age.

Adding also the fact that he'd been glancing at her every minute or so once he sat back down in his seat, she'd say that she definitely managed to change something. Without even doing anything!

She couldn't say that she cared, but she couldn't exactly say that she _didn't _care.

Thinking about this extensively was making her think about the future, which wasn't good. The future always made her too anxious. Like would he still be her rival? Would he still try to kill her and everyone else who gets in his way? Would the massacre still happen? If it didn't happen at the same date it did, wouldn't it still happen since canonically Obito did want the Uchiha clan gone? Would she still be placed with Sasuke whether or not it happened?

But at the end of the day, she never let those thoughts plague her. It was useless, relying on her anxiety and the plotline to give her guidelines.

If she wanted to do something, why the fuck not?

She shook her head, feeling how the chakra she'd sensed at the door finally shifting.

_Finally._

* * *

_i just want to say that oc has an attention span that could either last for months on end or seconds, depending on how interested she is__._

_when it comes to herself, i'd like to say that oc is very attentive._

_she's not self-absorbed, she just puts emphasis on self-care because she learnt that lesson wayyy back then__._

_so as a result, she can get very impulsive and has a frequent 'devil-may-care' attitude__._

_will this lead to some bad choices? probably. will she care? probably for a moment or so but she's the kind of character who just deals with the consequences and makes the best of it._

_she's taken shia labeouf's words to heart a little too much i think._

_i've recently been thinking that this story is moving a little too slowly before i realized: dude it's literally only the second chapter._

_but i just can't wait for tons of things that happen during her fourth year as naruto lmao._

_i'm also not quite sure what to think of the fact that i finished the second chapter for this story before finishing the second chapter for the other one._


	4. Chapter 3

Exactly a week before she attended the Academy, ANBU Tiger and ANBU Deer pulled her aside to talk about her sensory abilities.

Imagine the surprise she got when she realized that they actually knew the extent of her sensing.

Though she tried her best to keep still and not fidget with discomfort since one of her biggest abilities had been revealed, she doesn't think that she managed to do so for some part of it. Tiger and Deer both felt amused as they talked to her.

They told her about how her sensory abilities might end up distracting her, both on and off the field, if she doesn't learn to at least ignore or muffle what she kept feeling from the people in the vicinity.

Intrigued, she asked if they were sensors or if they knew someone who was a sensor.

She doesn't think that was a topic she was going to prod again any time soon. They both suddenly had ripples of melancholy in their chakra even as they answered her question.

Deer said that Senju Tobirama, their Nidaime, had been a brilliant sensor of his time, unmatched by anyone else as his sensing range covered the whole of the Land of Fire. He said that because of their concerns about her own sensing, they approached the Sandaime for the purpose of being allowed to make use of the late Senju's journal and notes on his experiences with his sensory abilities.

(Senju Tobirama was already dead by the time the both of them were brought into the world, she had thought with a blank absent-mindedness.)

(—Too late for them to develop any sort of personal attachments to the man, great as he was. They're _lying—)_

Well, he didn't exactly word it that way for the sake of keeping the pretense of 'just being acquaintances and glorified babysitters' rather than 'doting caretakers and family in all but blood' but she can read between the lines.

They feel glad that the Hokage allowed their request with no illusions as to why exactly he allowed it, she thinks to herself.

She's glad too, but she can't help the trace of bitterness that flashes through her chest— Of course, the village needs a weapon so a weapon they will get.

_(She just wishes they'd be more careful with the weapon._

_Because then they'd never know where it's pointing at until it's too late.)_

She's just really bitter, honestly.

That aside— with help from ANBU Deer and ANBU Tiger and Senju Tobirama's notes, she managed to be decent at blocking out some parts in her sensing range. She sometimes makes the mistake of completely silencing those parts, which could be dangerous because of rapidly approaching enemies, but she has no doubt that she'll be able to fix that as time progresses.

Now, as she sits in class, impatiently waiting for the teacher to finally get their ass moving and have an orientation or whatever it is that teachers in the academy do when it's the first day of school, all what she can feel and hear is reminiscent of having only one earbud plugged in and the other ear left free.

She doesn't pay much attention to the children seated around her, only giving a small amount of her attention to the not-yet-confirmed-Sasuke and the Nara since they were the most interesting of the bunch as of now, and instead focused on what she was feeling outside the academy walls.

If she had bothered with splitting her attention between the brats and the outside world, then she would've never caught the shift in the chakra she felt at the door, the sound of air, then finally their presumed instructor appearing in the middle of the classroom, gaining the weight of 40 or so children's stares.

He doesn't sweat, doesn't look nervous. He just looks relaxed and giddy. He— he looks a bit high, actually.

Does cannabis exist in this world? She wonders idly.

"Good morning! You little shits—" He laughs, proud and wide, and even if he mumbled that last part and she was at the far back of the classroom she sure as hell did not mishear him.

What are you saying in front of the children?

She looks at their class teacher with some disbelief, before deciding to look at him closely.

Lax shoulders, hands folded behind his back. Brown hair, gold eyes.

She doesn't think that he looks like the type to be reliable, though judging a book by its cover may be something she's fond of doing, but in this case she won't be doing that. People aren't always going to be trustworthy and she'd learned that the hard way.

This guy isn't always going to be so good-natured and she's not going to be learning that the hard way as well.

She silently takes out a notebook, a bright orange one just to shit on others' delicate senses of sight, and starts taking down notes as he speaks.

* * *

She actually sucks at writing personal notes because she's always too preoccupied with doodling and listening to people but she tried her best.

Staring down at her handwriting that steadily became more and more like chicken scratch in some places and fine print in others, she grimaced as she shook out her wrist.

It aches a lot.

A 40-minute break to eat their lunches and do shit before they had to go back in, that's what was decided on.

The time to take a breather from mind-numbing lectures was unexpectedly shorter than what she was expecting. Back in her old life, it'd been an hour and some.

But considering the occupation all the children in this academy were signing up for, she could understand that not a lot of break time was given when on the field, and they were trying to have them accustomed to it by the time they all graduated.

And it's difficult to keep her aching hand steady enough to feed her and to read her notes at the same time, though she'll manage.

Surprisingly enough, when she was halfway through the food that ANBU Tori cooked for her, the stinging pain around her hand was faded enough that she barely felt it anymore. Huh, she thinks.

That's one perk to having a bijū stuck in my gut.

Before she promptly chokes in surprise when she feels someone settle in the tree she's under.

_I didn't even feel them? How—_

Not wanting to waste her time speculating about it, she just flicks her head up towards where she feels the chakra perched on, annoyed and impressed.

It's Sasuke.

Well, the Sasuke look-alike.

She doesn't want to just assume even if he does look uncannily like the Uchiha...

She stares at the boy as he looks back in mild surprise, but he doesn't look at all that caught off guard or anything that she's feeling at the moment. He stays silent for a few seconds before he opens his mouth.

"You weren't paying attention this time."

What?

...Did he somehow notice her frequent staring whenever she caught sight of him? Um.

She sweats. Even if this is just a kid, she doesn't fancy being confronted about something so embarrassing. This is a bit of a bother, can I lay down and never wake up?

To keep both of them distracted and away from an oncoming awkward conversation, she decides to start another line to a topic.

"What are you saying?" Is what comes out of her mouth instead of a greeting.

_I am a goddamn genius,_ she thinks sarcastically, gritting her teeth behind her blank and curious expression.

The Sasuke look-alike gives her the same face she's making before he plops down on the thick branch he's situated on, letting his kiddie legs dangle freely.

He stares at her. She stares back.

This is making me incredibly uncomfortable but I'm not losing to a brat, she grouches inwardly. So she spends a few minutes making eye contact with the boy and keeping herself still before she eventually snaps.

"Well?" She demands impatiently, feeling like her left eye is twitching.

He looks impressed for half a second before she raises a handful of dirt.

And hits him with it.

_That was too childish! I shouldn't have done that. I should apologize. Jesus christ._

Luckily, the dirt only hit his calf and the end of his shorts, so it should be okay, she thinks. He doesn't look too happy though, so she amends her previous thought.

"Sorry," she tells him, before her mouth suddenly decides to run off a bit more by saying, "Though I suppose this serves as a lesson to answer when someone is asking a question."

Is there something wrong with me? Have I finally gone off the deep end? This is a child I just threw dirt at— _a child!_

She seeks out his chakra as his face gradually grows blank, she's not really handling her inappropriate actions too well in her standards and she's not used to not being able to feel the emotions and chakra of others.

He feels only mildly irritated and more in awe, but the thing that draws her attention the most aren't either of them. It's difficult to ignore how most of his chakra feels like its bouncing like a hyper puppy with a large amount of excitement.

Perplexity is thine name.

The atmosphere is awkwardly silent and she has no idea how to break the ice between them, even with the newfound knowledge of his feelings shooting around her head.

There are some things to be said about suddenly losing any form of social skills after dying and being born again, she thinks in growing hysteria.

Shockingly, the actual adult in this situation, which is her, isn't the one to break the standstill. It's the child above her that does.

It's with a sudden turnaround in the part of his chakra that feels irritated that the boy swings down from his perch using the branch below him, and he lands directly in front of her.

"Sorry. I'm Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke."

She shoots him a blank stare, ending it when she bows politely and introduces herself in return, choosing to go with the flow.

"Uzumaki Naruto," She says warily. "I'm sorry for throwing dirt at you."

The now-confirmed-Sasuke gives her a blink, before a slight smile appears on his face, making him look surprisingly boyish and warm instead of the cold and mighty image he put on awhile ago.

"It's fine, it's not that bad," The boy tells her, and he shrugs. "It's payback for being so rude anyway."

He's suspiciously friendly and this is a bad idea, she thinks.

She bulldozes over that thought and heads straight into the pit of lava that is a friendship with this boy. No bad idea is so bad that I can't be nice to a child. Fuck off.

"Why were you staring at me?" Sasuke's curious, she can tell. His chakra feels like a puppy just tilted its head in confusion and there's some hope in there that also feels like a puppy— a puppy hoping for a treat.

Her heart squeezes briefly, _oh no, he's adorable._

Instead of answering immediately, she pats the spot in front of her, waiting for him to sit down slowly before responding. She hadn't really thought of a valid reason why except for 'you look like my future rival that's now a past rival because that story is in the past and is overrated'.

"You look like my future rival," She says as she brushes her hands free of dirt. "And you were also the cutest in the room." This, she nods sagely at. He wrinkles his nose at that.

You're just proving my point, darling. She thinks this with a touch of amusement and it almost startles her with how stark it is.

Odd.

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome. Why did you choose to confront me about it?" Right off the bat, she asks a question that most people probably wouldn't think to ask. But when she asks that, she takes note of how a faint dust of red decorates his face as he looks to the side. Is he embarrassed? Shy?

She feels how his chakra closes into itself, making her confused. He shrugs again, "No reason, I was just curious." She purses her lips, feeling disappointed by his lacklustre answer.

Oh well.

He felt a little relieved now, with a dash of shyness and embarrassment. Hm.

It's most likely connected to how she managed to change the age he entered the Academy, with his own glancing back in class, and her own staring had given him an excuse to go to her. Perhaps he sees a rival in her to help better himself against? It wouldn't be farfetched given his personality and how, since he was given permission to enter the academy at his age, he would also be rather talented.

As far as she knew, the rest of the children in class were six years old, not four like the two of them. Maybe the Nara could be included, but she hasn't gotten how old he is yet, and his clan's general attitude, that being lazy like nobody's business, it's unlikely that he would enter at a younger age.

She asks him if he's eaten lunch yet. He says no.

So she immediately invites him to eat with her, blank stare driving into the boy and daring him to refuse.

He doesn't, which is good for both of their health.

Maybe it's a puppy's crush? He has been feeling like a little puppy so far.

She wants to laugh at that. Puppy Sasuke. The image is too adorable not to sear into her mind for later use for when she's feeling down again.

As for this Sasuke's 'tragic background story'— she'll end up unlocking it sooner or later.

* * *

She doesn't feel well and that's a first. Her head feels light and her chest feels empty. Her stomach is starting to turn and her eyes are itchy.

She takes several deep breaths, slowly. In and out, like how one of her ANBU guards taught her. How to meditate like a civilian, which is meditating with no chakra involved, apparently.

She can feel her nails dig into the side of her abdomen, and she's pretty sure they're making marks, but the discomfort she's feeling outweighs the pain by a ton.

Did she eat anything weird? Does she have allergies or something? Is she sick?

But even if she was, the Kyūbi could've taken care of any illnesses on her person. Including allergies or eating poison or bad food.

Ah, wait. Didn't Naruto have an upset stomach after drinking spoiled milk? There was also the incident where he ate what he thought were medical herbs...

Bad food is something that she should be careful of in the future then. Or now, but it's a little too late for that.

Her ANBU guards aren't here yet, but if they are, then she hasn't noticed them and they haven't noticed her plight. The schedule they've set is that two of her guards will arrive before she has to go to the Academy to keep her presentable and one of them will escort her.

It's too early to go to the academy since class starts at 7 and ends at 4 in the afternoon.

She can hear the faint ticking of the clock in the living room. It's 4am.

A sharp pain flares in the hand that's holding her stomach, but it fades quickly. Startled, she takes in a stuttering breath. She wants to whimper from the anxiety she can feel starting to bloom in her heart, which makes her discomfort tenfold.

She still feels empty though and— fuck. What's happening?

She doesn't like this. She doesn't know what _this_ even is. She really, really hopes her ANBU arrive soon. She can't wait for the hours to pass.

She distracts herself by stretching her senses for something to take her attention away from the ache, pain, whatever the fuck is happening to her.

It doesn't take much effort to hear a crow's caw on one of the poles outside. She feels its chakra and she moves on.

She searches for her ANBU, but they're not there.

_They're not there._

This time, she lets out a whimper as the anxiety and pain skyrocket.

* * *

_—oc is a sucker for kids. a little boy could ask her to jump off a bridge and she would 100% absolutely do it. only after punting him off it tho so that she'll have a valid reason for doing so._

_'tis been awhile! i really like my oc tbh and i'm just disappointed in myself because i'm writing a draft on how she died and so far it's nice. just, bitter._

_i shall conveniently look over any flames that i receive in the process of making this story because they're useless and make me think of bad stuff._

_also! some things in the narrative need to have another read or two because punctuation and poor choice of words. but when i have the time i'll edit those little things to make it better so thank u for your patience._

_what's happening to this naruto over here? idk let's find out in the next chapter— whenever i finish it lol._


End file.
